All posts published here are presented as casual conversation pieces to provoke thought in some direction or another, they do not necessarily represent fixed opinions of the Inner Council, as our work exists beyond the spectrum of bound statement and singular clause.
The unknown darkness
I am fascinated in exploring a correlation between a person’s sense of isolation and their relationship with the dark. Personally, I don’t remember feeling lonely ever in my life, although I have been in deep introspective isolation and a period of detached depression that took me into a generalised enlightenment. Upon realising that the serene enlightenment state was the furthest that I could fall, my relationship with life was altered profoundly. I was scared of everything as a child, but the fear was more of a mistrust in the mechanics of the physical environment rather than the subjective unknown. As a teenager I remember longing to be in a deeper isolation, imagining a vocation that would allow such isolation. Tending a light-house or manning a research station in the bleak Antarctic. I thought that as long as I had tea and enough books, it would be a pleasurable way to spend my life.
Being a mentor for others, especially with a focus on childhood integration, the subject of the dark and of the great unknown, rising often alongside aspects of fear are understood as part of the mechanism of trauma protection. The brain literally scrambles the memory recall coordinates (imagine vector information) and places an eerie symbol to ward off access. We think we’re afraid of spiders, but we’re not. We’re afraid of what’s behind the spider. If there’s an opportunity later in life where we feel energetically safe, then the spider might start to lure us into investigation and integration. There’s a door left open for all of our non-integrated episodes, and we follow that lead with Inner Child work.
The dark represents the deep unknown, it is the soul, the spirit and all there is. It is also a drawing board for the imagination and reflection. Do you trust it?
The dark is the most safe and peaceful place that you will ever experience.
If you don’t agree with that statement then what might be standing in the way of your serenity?
What if the answer to loneliness was to make friends with the dark, the unknown, the Universe?
Maybe you do identify a correlation between your relationship with the dark and with the loneliness that you feel, even around other people. This would then be an existential sense of being left out of the bigger picture. I cannot be special—I cannot be god. What if there was another correlation. What if loneliness was a symptom of a lack of self-trust?
On whose terms?
Investigating this further, what if I were to ask you, is life being done to you, or is it here to serve you? Or shamanically speaking, are you blessed or are you cursed?
When having conversations with participants pre-Ayahuasca, there is a moment where an assessment arises around the potential of fragility. This is especially necessary when people arrive in groups or couples, as there is a chance that only one of them is answering the call to connect with the medicine and the other or others are there for friendly support or purely skeptical intrigue. Who is really ready to connect with the medicine? This assessment is about safety, or an individual’s perception of it.
Imagine that someone forced you into sitting a 10 day silent meditation retreat against your wishes. As you are sitting there on the first day, barely beginning the 10 hours that lay ahead, you’re contemplating terms—a resistance rising within you. I’m guessing that the detrimental effects of this oppressive imposition are almost exactly proportional to the positive adjustment that could be obtained in taking yourself, on your terms, to a silent meditation retreat. What about this concept in regard to solitary confinement? On your terms or someone else’s? Long term relationship breakup? On your terms or theirs? We can understand these lesser concepts a little easier. So what about the big picture, are you here on your terms or not? Are you blessed?
Trust & the Inner Child
Let’s go back to the dark. What exactly within those depths of unknowing can compromise your safety? Is it rational or irrational? Where do you think that the fear originated? During Inner Child work we allow the Inner Child to take us on an exploration into the depths of these dark places and to put together the energetic relationships that we hold with us to this day. When we integrate, there is a chance in renegotiating our relationship with the big wide world that lies in the depths of our imagination. Integration brings us closer to internal coherence where we can harmonise the intuitive relationship through heart connection to the world around us. Imagine feeling soft and comfortable inside, without gross emotional reactions to external stimuli. Soft and warm, safe in the vast bosom of the darkness.
I continue to ask people if they could perceive themselves sleeping soundly in the midst of a great forest, with only the stars and the sounds of nature as their company. The response leads me to ask about intimacy, loneliness, friendships, sorrow, melancholy, malaise, loss. It inspires me to ask questions about self-worth, fulfillment and visions of the future. Not every psychologist has the magical tools of serious mind altering entheogens at their service, or the ability to witness a patient standing on the opposite side of their fears in a space of 24 hours. A conventional miracle. The answer to loneliness is one of integration.
If you would like to understand more about the comprehensive Inner Child work and the ongoing integration support that we offer at the Inner Council then feel free to contact us for a casual and confidential conversation. We are, by the way, expecting you.
