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All posts published here are presented as casual conversation pieces to provoke thought in some direction or another, they do not necessarily represent fixed opinions of the Inner Council, as our work exists beyond the spectrum of bound statement and singular clause.
Inner Child work for post breakup depression
Coming out of a long-term relationship can leave us with a lost sense of self, similar to an identity crisis. Our navigation points are shifted and we have no idea where we are or what can possibly come next in our journey. Many of our participants find that this is the right time to begin a self-led therapy practice to reconnect with the authentic self, rediscover our soul journey and find excitement and wonder in putting the pieces together.
The emotions that are felt following a breakup are an echo from our childhood. The primary developmental needs of children follow us into our adulthood and are established in the relationships that we form. This can be seen in relationships where your rational mind has determined that the relationship is no longer serving your adult self, but there is an irrational side of emotion that is holding you in place, hoping for the problems to resolve and for life to get better without the judgement, blame and complication of separation.
How long have you been in a relationship without feeling that you can express your needs or think that you would be understood even if you did? If a relationship negates protection, intimacy and emotional connectedness then complications will arise for one or both of the partners. The attachment theories do not have to be stated in therapy, but the causes will reveal themselves during the work.
The Inner Council Inner Child work allows us to reestablish a confident sense of self, to identify our earliest dreams and step out into the world with fresh eyes to establish a new lifestyle that serves our deepest needs in a healthy way. Inner Child work also allows us to reconnect with aspects of our childhood character through soul retrieval.
If you think that an ongoing personal therapy with your Inner Child is the next step for you, please contact us for a suitable practitioner who can arrange a free online session to discuss your current circumstances and guide you in the right direction.
Visit our Inner Child Workshop page to find out more.
Why Breakups Hurt the Inner Child
The intense emotions that surface after separation are rarely just about the present. Heartbreak awakens early emotional imprints, unmet needs, and childhood attachment patterns. Even when our rational, adult mind knows the relationship no longer served us, a different part, often younger, fearful, or hopeful, clings to the bond, trying to avoid loss, rejection, or abandonment.
You may recognise this internal conflict:
- “I know I deserve better, but I’m scared to be alone.”
- “I couldn’t express my needs — I didn’t feel heard.”
- “Even if I explained how I feel, I don’t think they’d understand.”
When a relationship lacks protection, emotional intimacy or shared vulnerability, complications naturally arise. You don’t need to intellectualise attachment theory to understand this — in Inner Child work, the deeper truths reveal themselves organically through experience.
How Inner Child Work Helps You Rebuild
The Inner Council Inner Child process is designed to:
- Re-establish a confident sense of self
- Revive the earliest dreams and natural qualities of the authentic self
- Bring clarity to what we truly need from future relationships
- Reconnect us with lost or fragmented parts of our soul essence
- Replace self-abandonment with self-protection and self-respect
This is more than “moving on.”
This is transition into a new life chapter — inner-led, self-trusting, and built from truth rather than fear.
A Gentle Inner Child Exercise for Post-Breakup Healing
This is a practice you can do at home to begin transforming emotional residue into inner connection.
1. Create a quiet space
Sit somewhere safe and relaxed. Place your hand on your chest or stomach — wherever you feel the emotional weight of the breakup.
2. Invite the Inner Child forward
Gently say to yourself:
“There is a younger part of me hurting.
I am here to listen.
I won’t ignore you anymore.”
Allow the emotional sensation to soften or move. You don’t have to force anything.
3. Ask the child one simple question:
“What did you really need in that relationship that you didn’t receive?”
Often, answers arise as feelings before words.
You may hear things like:
- I needed to feel safe
- I needed to be chosen
- I needed to be heard
- I needed affection
4. Respond as the empowered adult
Place a hand gently over your heart or stomach and say:
“I hear you. I’m here now.
You are no longer alone.
Your needs matter, and I will protect you going forward.”
This shifts the point of safety from the lost relationship to your inner world — a powerful emotional rewiring.
5. End with grounding
Take one slow breath in, one long breath out.
Notice your body.
Notice that you are safe.
Even five minutes of this practice can reduce emotional overwhelm and rebuild inner trust.
When You Are Ready for Deeper Work
If you feel that a personal and ongoing relationship with the Inner Child is the next step, we invite you to contact us. One of our practitioners can schedule a free online session to discuss your circumstances and help determine the most gentle and beneficial way forward. Many people begin their healing journey here, transforming heartbreak into self-discovery, empowerment, and reunion with their authentic self.
Click here for more Inner Child Exercises.
Soul Retrieval After Relationships
When a relationship ends, it is not only the future plans and shared memories that dissolve, it can feel as though parts of ourselves were left behind inside the life we built with another person. Pieces of our joy, confidence, identity, or creativity may feel lost, disconnected, or numb. Many describe this feeling as being “broken” or “hollow,” but in Inner Child work, we recognise this phenomenon as soul fragmentation, the temporary separation from aspects of self that became dormant during emotional stress, neglect, or trauma.
How We Lose Parts of Ourselves in Relationships
During love and attachment, we naturally open our emotional field. If a relationship becomes unhealthy, unsafe, or overly self-sacrificial, the psyche adapts in order to survive.
This can lead to:
- Giving up personal dreams or passions
- Suppressing emotions to avoid conflict
- Abandoning personal boundaries
- Becoming who someone else needed us to be
- Shrinking to maintain peace
- Silencing intuition or needs
Each of these moments is a small departure from the authentic self. The soul doesn’t disappear , it simply steps back, waiting for a safer time to return.
What Soul Retrieval Means in Inner Child Work
In our approach, soul retrieval is not a dramatic ritual; it is a gentle process of remembering, reclaiming and reintegrating the parts of you that were pushed aside. When the Inner Child begins to feel safe, seen and protected, those dormant qualities start to reawaken.
People often recover:
- Creativity
- Playfulness
- Self-worth
- Trust in intuition
- The desire to explore life again
- Ambition and personal direction
- Emotional sensitivity and expression
It is not about returning to who you were before the relationship, it is about rediscovering who you were always becoming.
Signs Your Soul Is Returning
- You laugh more easily
- Your boundaries feel clearer
- Curiosity about life returns
- You speak, dress or create in natural ways
- You stop needing validation from the past
- Your energy increases
- Moments of spontaneous joy appear
Soul Retrieval Is a Rebirth, Not a Repair
After a breakup, many people try to “fix” themselves, to return to normal as quickly as possible. Inner Child work takes a different path. Instead of patching over loss, it invites rebirth.
You are not trying to become who you were before the pain. You are meeting who you can be after the healing.
Through gentle inner work, emotional honesty, and a safe internal relationship, the lost parts of you naturally find their way home. They do not need to be forced, only welcomed.
