Overcoming Inner Parent Resistance with Your Inner Child

Although one of the core aims with inner child work is to nurture and build a trust relationship with the Inner Child, the parent within us is part of the internal team that hold space for the child and maintain the relationship to give the Inner Child what they need, as well as to spend time together and have fun.

Whilst we may experience resistance coming from our inner child from time to time as we support them through the healing process, there are also instances where the parent self can experience resistance. We may notice ourselves going out of balance during our day, yet ignore the signs and messages from our body and mind, which stems from our inner child. Beginning with observing this tendency we can pause and reflect on why we might be resisting connecting with our inner child?

• Guilt and shame may be present for allowing a wounded part of us to be real; coming to terms with the hurt and pain of the Inner Child is part of re-parenting and healing the parent self too
• It’s perceived as easier to remain in the shadow self and not create time and space for the Inner Child to fully express themselves. When we are conditioned to ignore, bury and hide pain and suffering, it’s sometimes perceived as easier to remain in a disempowered state because really sitting with what is, is uncomfortable and ‘going against’ what we’ve previously known and learnt. Remembering too that this is programming and our inner parent needs to work through these aspects of self too!
• Our previously conditioned self that interfaces with other archetypes such as the inner critic, people pleaser, saboteur, persecutor, victim, play into the narrative of our experience holding influence, resulting in conditioned behavioural responses and emotions to arise and create resistance

Creating a considered space for our Inner Parent supports and bolsters this aspect of self to show up when needed for the Inner Child. The following suggestions are some starting points to guide and support the Inner Parent to be present and available for the Inner Child.

• Through meditation, have a dialogue, or with pen and paper, write a letter to your inner child to explain the kind of parent you wish to be for yourself. Acknowledging this is an organic journey that is learning for both of you and changeable, yet the intention to work through resistances that arise is there and the line of communication for this is also open. Transparency is key!
• When observing resistance arising, sit with your inner parent and explore what is coming up, identifying if possible, where the resistance is rooted in and compassionately accepting this is present. This may include shifting patterns of parenting they received from the way they were parented. Resistance can arise when we’re trying to shift them. Again, remembering the intention you hold for healing your inner child supports re-parenting
• Consider the Inner Parent needs too! Listening to and providing the parent self with what they need maintains a harmony that is required to be present and there for the Inner Child

Objective: To acknowledge and work with the resistance coming from your Inner Parent, creating space for both healing and nurturing your Inner Child.

Step 1: Create a Calm Space
Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably for 10–15 minutes. Take a few deep breaths, grounding yourself in the present moment.

Step 2: Observe the Resistance
Notice any tension, guilt, or discomfort arising as you think about connecting with your Inner Child. Don’t judge these feelings; simply label them: “This is my Inner Parent feeling resistance.”

Step 3: Dialogue or Letter Writing

• Option A: Mentally invite your Inner Parent to speak. Ask: “What is making you resist connecting with my Inner Child right now?” Listen to the response with curiosity and compassion.
• Option B: Write a letter from your Inner Parent to your Inner Child, explaining any fears, doubts, or challenges. Follow this with a letter from your Inner Parent offering reassurance, love, and commitment to support the Inner Child.

Step 4: Identify the Root Cause
Reflect on the messages you received from caregivers or authority figures growing up that may influence your Inner Parent’s resistance. Recognize patterns of conditioning that may no longer serve you.

Step 5: Affirm Your Intention
Speak or write a simple statement to reinforce your intention: “I am here to nurture my Inner Child. My Inner Parent is learning to support this process.”

Step 6: Close the Session
Thank your Inner Parent for showing up and your Inner Child for their patience. Take a few deep breaths, stretch, and return to your day with awareness.

Optional Follow-Up:
Repeat this exercise whenever resistance arises, noting shifts in your Inner Parent’s responses and your Inner Child’s comfort.

Click here for more Inner Child Exercises.

Visit our Inner Child Workshop page to find out more.